Sunday, December 26, 2010

Apocalypse Came Over Early This Year

So there goes nothing... 6 months out of yet another year gone by and I've literally done it all.
Wrote my paper, wore my graduation cap, wasted away at every single terrace. I was walking on freaking sunshine, beautiful and amazing and long hair flowing in curls and most of all I was Oh-So-Loved by everyone and sparkling... Nothing gold can stay.
The summer was hot and sweaty and it was filled with butterflies, and music, and roses, and dancing, and the oh-so-many cigarettes that matched the color of my finger nails. I brought myself time and stretched it as long as I possibly could... I extended my arms and pulled on my wrists and my mouth would not stay closed because of the silly, bright smile spread all over my face.
The autumn start was perfect as ever, sweet, and orange, and warm and the pulling started to take a toll... roots started to come out of the ground and I needed to pick myself up and move along. Give it all up, and give in.
I went away, I went away from comfort and happiness. I lived off specks, I've lived off visits and outside input... I've lived off anything else but myself and it has taken it's toll. Gave in, gave it all up.
The winter months came up quickly and all is barren, and dry. The weather is bone cold and the wind is tearing us apart... cloudy with a high chance of doom. I cried to everyone I saw, I asked for all the help I have never, ever needed or wanted before.

So there goes everything... I scared the people that care most about me, I've been selfish, spoiled, sad and so, soooo very frightened! Some people rose to the occasion some sunk deeper than I could've imagined.
Yet this year will soon be over and yet another one will take it's place and if ever there will be a book based on my messed-ul life 2010 will be a cliff-hanger chapter. Shine on you crazy diamond.